You're A Mean One, Mr Grinch
by 4thFromTheFurnace
Summary: While Hiyono decorates for Christmas, she compares Ayumu to the Grinch in every way she possibly can, but he surprises her.


**Ello all! This was something that was inspired by a chapter of my Twelve Days of Christmas fic, so voila! Anybody who knows my previous fics DEFINITELY knows that, well, they know that I don't own Spiral, but technically I own 6 DVDs(I think that's how many there are), the first Graphic Novel, and a little puzzle thing, not to mention the oodles of Spiral desktop wallpapers, blah blah blah...yeah, that's all I own of Spiral except these fic ideas...man I ramble a lot! Continue!**

There were two characters that Ayumu Narumi reminded reporter Hiyono Yuizaki of around Christmastime. The Grinch and Mr. Scrouge. This particular tale deals with How the Grinch Stole Hiyono's Heart. Well, more or less. True that putting it that way makes it sound much cheesier that Hiyono would think it is. This tale begins with young Hiyono getting ready for Christmas.

She rushed around the Christmas tree with ornaments and colored wreaths. She strung lights up in the most dangerous of places, and everywhere else she could think of as well. She tried to make everything as decorative as she could, she even strung lights on the chairs and computers. It was only once she had nearly finished that the darkness arrived in the form of a male a year younger than herself.

He lingered in the shadows like a dark, damp rainy cloud on a Christmas Day Parade. She could feel his irksome presence from yards away, even if she was blindfolded. She snorted in frustration, "You here to ruin my Christmas spirit, Narumi-san?"

"You're going to break your neck." he hissed. She huffed and turned her nose up at him, "I have the right to decorate, Narumi-san, it's the 21st Amendment of the Christmas Constitution."

He raised a dark brown eyebrow, "Christmas Constitution?"

She nodded, "Of course! Gee, Narumi-san, where have you been for the past few years? Hiding under a rock? Oh, wait, that's where you were born."

He rolled his eyes, "Are you still angry about the Christmas thing, stupid?"

She growled, "Not angry, miffed, Narumi-san! I'm miffed! You want nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever! You're just a heartless diabolical mastermind bent on ruining Christmas!"

The brunet didn't seem to care about anything she was saying, "Did the school actually give you permission to decorate the Newsroom?"

The maple-haired girl never answered the question. She merely stepped down from the chair she was standing on, approached Ayumu, and managed to push him out of the Newsroom. After slamming the door in his face, he yawned and began walking down the hallway that led to the stairs. He supposed he would have to sleep on the roof today, even though it was pretty cold outside.

Hiyono sighed contently. Ah. Peace and quiet. Well, more like no damp depressing pessimistic cloud hanging over her shoulder. Before she climbed back on the chair, she turned on a radio on the table. The song on the radio had just ended and another had begun. Man, she wished that Ayumu hadn't left just yet. He totally needed to hear this song. It should have been his theme song. She could just imagine a really weird, cheap adventure/mystery Japanese cartoon about his heroic exploits. Every time it came on, they would play his theme song!

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.

You really are a heel.

You're as cuddly as a cactus,

You're as charming as an eel.

Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana

With a greasy black peel."

Oh yeah. She could see him now. He would arrive without a sound in the dark of the night. Sure, he would probably foil the crooks, but more importantly! He would slither into the houses without anyone noticing. He and his cute but dorky little sidekick would...hey! Wait a second! That dorky sidekick could only be her! Okay, no dorky sidekick...only a very adorable and spirited girl, no, newsreporter! No, superhero! Only she would be able to stop his villainous tirade of vanquishing Christmas!

There would be no romance in any of his adventures. He was too evil, heartless, smart, and diabolical for that! After all, he wasn't at all cuddly, he was definitely not the kind to have the suave hero OR villainous charm.

"You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.

Your heart's an empty hole.

Your brain is full of spiders,

You've got garlic in your soul.

Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a

thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole."

That was it! She would foil his heartless plans with a plan of her own! But no matter what, she couldn't allow him to find out what it was! She would go back to tagging along with him wherever he went, acting like his cute and NOT dorky sidekick, until she could determine exactly what his plans were. Well, AFTER she finished decorating the Newsroom.

---

"What are you doing?" Ayumu asked as more of a demand than a question, catching a glimpse of Hiyono stand behind him, an extremely peculiar expression on her face. By the look on her face, he knew she was up to something. However, he wasn't interested enough to find out what. He just wished she'd stop looking at him like she was just waiting to catch him with his hand in the cookie jar. Finally, she seemed to get tired of standing and sat down on the concrete, still staring at him. Eventually, he could vaguely hear her mumbling a strangely familiar song. He couldn't hear all the words and he couldn't quite place it, but he knew that he had heard that song before. Honestly, one of the reasons he didn't hear the words was the fact that he almost couldn't care less.

"You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.

You have termites in your smile.

You have all the tender sweetness

Of a seasick crocodile.

Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you

I'd take the seasick crockodile."

To be even more painfully honest, he hated when she hung around while he was trying to take a nap. It was even worse that he had been in the middle of sleeping when he felt her cold shadow over him. It was bad enough that it was so cold out, without Hiyono interfering. Now she was staring at him with that shady expression that disturbed his nerves even when he wasn't facing her. He rolled over and closed his eyes, trying to catch some shuteye.

Even when they were walking home, Ayumu could feel Hiyono's eyes burning into his back. He walked by all the extravagantly-decorated shops, homes, and apartment complexes, trying his best to ignore all the happy festive Christmas junk.

He knew that Hiyono was probably still upset at him about the stuff he had said about Christmas, but usually it was just a few Hiyono punches and that was it. He had to admit this was a bit creepy. She was walking behind him like a mumbling idiot, murmuring and hissing that song again.

"You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.

You're a nasty, wasty skunk.

Your heart is full of unwashed socks

Your soul is full of gunk.

Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,

are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk." "

It didn't matter that he was allowing her to stay in his house. Oh no. She just kept watching him, even taking a few notes in that little pink notebook of hers. Now he knew something was wrong. She didn't even bug him about anything. She just...watched him. Ironically, he was cooking something to eat, thinking that perhaps something to eat would calm her down and snap her out of whatever she was doing. He had no idea what posessed him to decidedy cook for her without any prompting, annoying, or even hunger on her part. Wait, he knew what it was. It was that look. That look that was so strange to Hiyono's expression that it not only disturbed him, but unnerved him greatly.

He took a glance over at her. She was STILL looking! When would that girl snap out of it? If she was going to punch him, he wished she'd just get it over with and let him go on with his life without worrying that she would pounce on him at any moment with claws and teeth bared. Now her look had become a little creepier. Now her teeth were gritted in an evil smile.

Just because he hadn't let her decorate his apartment for Christmas. That couldn't be it. Who did she think he was?

Hiyono smirked, just waiting for Ayumu to make a move. She had tried to act innocent, but she couldn't help staring at him. She would look away and act like nothing happened if she caught him looking at her, so maybe he hadn't figured it out yet. What was she saying? This was one of the world's greatest detectives she was talking about!

Oh, the irony. He was making food. How perfect.

"You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.

You're the king of sinful sots.

Your heart's a dead tomato splot

With moldy purple spots,

Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing

with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable

rubbish imaginable,

Mangled up in tangled up knots."

Maybe it would be a while before she had tomatoes again. That visual she didn't really need. Although, it did fit his highness, King of Heartlessness, so well. When she caught him, he would regret all those terrible heartless things he'd done.

Ayumu shivered. Man, did she have to stare at him like that even when he was EATING? Talk about spoiling appetites. How she could eat and stare at him as if he was some kind of evil creature at the same time was beyond him. By the time she had finished her food, he was almost ready to just let her decorate his home just to get her to stop looking at him like that. Finally, he stood up from the table and walked down the hall and into his room to get some peace. He shut the door and locked the doorknob and the new deadbolt he had gotten for himself for that specific reason. With that, he crashed on his bed, burrying his head in the pillow and trying to get Hiyono's crazy look out of his head.

Hiyono sighed, finally giving her face a break from the incriminating stare. She hadn't seen much incriminating evidence so far, only the fact that he seemed really tense and didn't finish his food. She fixed this by pulling his plate over to her side and engulfing the rest of his plate of hot curry. Why was she doing this again? What was she going to do once she DID catch him? Did she even have a standing case? Eh. She'd worry about that later.

---

The sleepy brunet was awoken by the unsettling disruption of his churning stomach, caused by the uneasiness of his sidekick's unknown whereabouts. He rose to his feet, mussing his long, ruffled dark hair and walking to his door. He had a feeling she was behind it.

He was right. With that same stare, she stood behind his door. He had no idea what she was up to, but this was getting really old. He gave her an aggravated glare and waited, staring at her in the eye.

She began singing lowly, trying to force her voice into a tenor.

"You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.

With a nauseaus super-naus.

You're a crooked jerky jockey

And you drive a crooked horse.

Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool

sandwich

With arsenic sauce."

Now that he heard it, he knew what this was about. He raised his eyebrows, "So you think I'm the Grinch in disguise and I'm trying to ruin Christmas, and now you're observing me so you could find a way to stop me?"

Hiyono's glare softened, but still held. She didn't answer, signaling that Ayumu's deduction was correct. She gave a low growl, but no more.

By now that stare irked Ayumu to his core. Man, not only was it disturbing, it was annoying. He had to make it stop somehow. She wasn't making this easy, and he knew that anything he said wouldn't faze her in the least.

He strode forward a few steps, causing her to back up a few steps as he walked towards her. When her back hit the wall on the parallel side of the hall from his room, she stopped, still glaring at him. The detective stopped less than a foot away from his companion and grabbed her shoulders, holding her to the wall as he closed the gap with a fiery fervent pressure to her lips. He closed his eyes tightly and gripped her shoulders roughly, his heavy kiss initiating surprise from his partner.

Her golden eyes opened wide, taking in the information until she shut her eyes and let her breath escape in an content sigh. His caressing pressure on her lips slowed as she relaxed under his grip. When she returned the zealous effort into his lips, he slowed more and slowly pulled away, bringing forth a rather calming suction sound from the separation. His voice low, he spoke in a mix of a growl and a hiss, a bit vexed, "Looks like you forgot about the last part of the movie, stupid girl."

Her eyes half-closed, she muttered, "The hero's not supposed to fall for the villain..."

His grip on her shoulders slowly released, "So who was the villain?"

Hiyono stared at the ground and thought for a moment. She shrugged, "I'm not so into labels."

He ran his hand through his hair and leaned against his doorway, "Yeah, I know you. Next you'll start calling me some name of a cartoon villain bent on world domination or something."

Hiyono thought for a minute, "How about Mr. Grumpypants?"

Ayumu began walking back towards the kitchen to supposedly finish his dinner, "I think I like the Grinch better."

**I don't know how much I like the end and it didn't turn out the way I expected it too, but I'm too tired and lazy and I think it's all right the way it is. Anywho! Haha! Now this one has inspired me to do one about Mr. Scrouge! **

**Hehehee...Ayumu got a little passionate there at the end...but come on, number one: that stare Hiyono was giving him has to be annoying, number two: this is a romance fic, and number three: I'm the Cheeseball! You have to expect this from me by now! **

**Let's see, including the Mr. Scrouge fic, I have two more Christmas fics to do before I go back to finishing my chapter fics, so I'll see you guys soon! Tootles and God bless you guys! I'll be praying for you!**


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